By Myself
by kuro ketsukei
Summary: This is a song-fic with Linkin Park's By Myself...hence the title. Sad but with a happy ending.


Disclaimer: I own nothing. Please don't sue me.

Dagger: dat was weak.

Bara: Aren't you supposed to be asleep?

Dagger: Uh, ga go.

Author's note: This little…whatever takes place after endless waltz. Everyone clear on that, good.

By Myself

Duo stared out at the battlefield. Mobile suits were scattered everywhere and small fires were burning from randomly destroyed buildings. He climbed out of Deathscythe and slid to the ground. Duo watched the fires burning around him. It's my fault, he thought, I destroyed the buildings and probably killed hundreds of men and women working in the base.

_What do I do to ignore them behind me?_

_Do I follow my instincts blindly?_

_Do I hide my pride/from these bad dreams_

_And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?_

Duo sighed at the destruction. He hated the fighting but knew it had to be done. The scenes before him would probably give him a few nightmares. He wished he had someone to talk to about the dreams he constantly had. He should just ignore the other pilots and go on his instincts.

_Do I/sit here and try to stand it?_

_Or do I/try and catch them red-handed?_

_Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,_

_Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?_

He remembered trusting people when he was a little kid but the older he got the more he learned it was easier to be alone. He avoided getting close to anyone. I should probably be wary of the other pilots, he commented to himself. Heero had been fighting along side him but took off as soon as the battle ended. Which probably means he doesn't care either, Duo thought with a sigh.

Because I can't hold on/when I'm stretched so thin 

_I make the right moves but I'm lost within_

_I put on my daily façade but then_

_I just end up getting hurt again_

_By myself [myself]_

_I ask why, but in my mind_

_I find I can't rely on myself_

Duo didn't really know how much more of this he could take. He again reminded himself that he had to fight, to save the future…or so he was told. As far as the others knew he was a happy person, who had no problems. Everyone has problems, especially me, he pointed out, it doesn't really matter what I do, it always hurts. Memories of the past filled his mind, memories of being alone.

I can't hold on 

_[To what I want when I'm stretched so thin]_

_It's all too much to take in_

_I can't hold on_

_[To anything watching everything spin]_

_With thoughts of failure sinking in_

It took a lot to keep going, there was always so much to take in and one fear he had was failing. The other pilots depended on him, even if they didn't care. The world felt like it was spinning crazily around him and things were happening to fast for him to handle.

If I/turn my back I'm defenceless 

_And to go blindly seems senseless_

_If I hide my pride and let it all go on/then they'll _

_Take from me till everything is gone_

He figured that if he stopped caring about the world then he could disappear, but then people might take advantage of him. He would most likely loose every bit of his sanity then. Maybe I should just give up, he questioned himself, I feel like I'm going to go crazy soon.

If I let them go I'll be outdone 

_But if I try to catch them I'll be outrun_

_If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer_

_Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer_

_[By myself]_

All the other pilots were better at something, and if he tried to catch up…the others would find something else to be better at them him. He had so many questions that he felt smothered. He was also afraid to here the answer, afraid the answers would hurt him more then the questions.

How do you think/I've lost so much 

_I'm so afraid/I'm out of touch_

_How do you expect/I will know what to do_

_When I all I know is what you tell me to_

Duo remembered all the missions in the past, sent by Prof. G. He lost a lot as a child, friends and family all from the war. He was out of touch with the world as a kid. I was naïve as a kid, Duo thought bitterly.

_Don't you know_

_I can't tell you how to make it go_

_No matter what I do, how hard I try_

_I can't seem to convince myself why_

_I'm stuck on the outside_

I feel left out, he thought, totally oblivious of the soldier behind him. He suddenly heard a click from behind but before he could turn around some shoved him to the ground.  He heard a gun go off and saw three more figures standing near by. When he rolled over someone reached down to lend a hand. He finally got to his feet, a light was turned on and he found the other four pilots standing around him.

"Heero, guys…what are doing here?" He asked bewildered.

Quatre smiled. "Heero said you didn't talk the whole fight. We guessed something was wrong."

"So we came to make sure you were still alive Maxwell." Wufei told him slightly mad at being dragged all the way here.

Trowa simply nodded in agreement with the other three.

Duo stared at them shocked and then lowered his head, ashamed. "I…thought none of you…cared." He said quietly.

Wufei raised an eyebrow. "We've put up with you this long, why wouldn't we care?"

Everyone stared at Wufei shocked. "Where did that come from Wufei?" Quatre asked laughing.

Wufei just glared back at his friends. Heero shook his head with impatience. "You've always helped us, we will always help you," He paused and looked at the others. "And I think I can say, we all care about you, Duo."

Duo smiled as they took off in a carrier with his gundam, I guess I'm not by myself after all.

Author's note: So, what do you think? Is it a good song fic, did it suck…I bet it sucked. Please review, if it was good, I'll try for another and I'd just like to point out, Duo did not die, I can so right something where he doesn't die and it has a happy ending so there. Mwahahahaha!

Duo: That still doesn't make up for all the times you DID kill me.

Bara: *glare* Shut up.


End file.
